The experience of recovering from an Eating disorder is an emotional, physical and a spiritual one combined. You experience painful as well as physical withdrawals arising due to eventual stopping of the eating disorder behaviors which can be easily compared to drug withdrawals. Its a rollercoaster of emotional fears arising from losing control of one’s life and body.
Strangely, I’ve never heard anyone talk about the surviving part of an eating disorder while in the recovery process. I think we can compare it to Post Traumatic Stress Disorder as well.
If you’ve lived through this agonising experience, once you stop for a moment, catch your breath and start to believe that you just might survive.
When we are in recovery, dating can be tortuous. Maybe its tortuous for every woman, but from my own experience and those of my friends in recovery. I have come to terms with the fact that my emotions brain, body do not work the same way other women’s do. It can possibly be the reason why I have experienced an eating disorder. Life sometimes just feels too scary for me, and an eating disorder made things much easier to cope with.
I needed to find something that could’ve help me cope with the illusion of feelings. Have you ever imagined why the little kids don’t ever want to sleep? Because they may be small, but they’re smart! We can certainly assume that they might have figured out that when you sleep you miss something fun that happens around them. When you are dealing with your disorder you are missing out on a lot of experiences and relationships. At present during recovery when you’ll date; I can safely say that you’ll surely experience all the feelings that go with it.
You may feel that they are incredibly uncomfortable. You may feel like going back to the closet. But before you give in to the temptation remember, dating is a part of life and if we want to be a part of it, we will take part in it.
I strongly recommend to all of you girls (myself included) to look at dating as an opening to involve yourself in life. if I’m being really honest with myself, the only thing that makes me the skeptical about dating is that if I’m doing it for validation.
I do it simply for boosting my ego? In fact, I have found myself dating guys I don’t even like (and actually find it quite irritating) just for the egotistic pleasure that someone likes me. You may wonder What happens In case they don’t end up liking me? You may find me as a hot mess full of watery eyes, crying about it. He’s simply not good enough. Although I can say with confidence, I’ve learned a thing or two from my mistakes.
In my experience:-
#1. Dating shouldn’t be about making anyone like you. It essentially is like reading a book. You never read a book to make the book like you instead you read it to learn something new from it & enjoy it. If you approach dating in this manner, to try & find out something new about the human being in front of you, you’ll have less of an emotional melt downs than I ever did.
#2. Learn your self worth and significance. If someone else had to asses my worth and value; I would definitely be anxious and petrified. The most important lesson we learn in the recovery phase is to not put our worth in our eating disorders hands.
We recognize that our worth and value includes much more than the size of our jeans. The aim for every woman should be an unwavering belief that whether someone likes or dislikes you; you are still the same, beautiful, strong woman she was before she met this guy.
#3. Taking part in life is often a bumpy, hot, sticky mess of a ride. It can be a whole lot of fun as well. I’ve experienced that dating can be scary if you let it be; but if you like it, it can also be fun if you let it be.
Most of the times, we tend to take life too seriously. Life is indeed hard; you lose friends, family, jobs, and pets. Sometimes you’ll succeed, more often than not you may fail, sometimes you’ll laugh and sometimes you may cry. But, its completely worth it.
You’ll not experience the joy that you are sharing with the people you loved again, once you miss it.
Live the moment!
Experience life and enjoy it!